Author: Laura Nowlin

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Other Works: if he had been with me, if only i had told her, This Song Is (Not) For You
Price: $5.24 for paperback $22.53 for hardcover on Amazon.Iin Barnes & Noble a paperback is about $10.99, the hardcover is around $16.99, and the Collector’s Edition hardcover is $22.99. 

Target Audience:  Y/A 

Heartbreak is never a good feeling , it feels like the whole world stops. Our protagonist Autumn Davis lives up to her name, as throughout the book she continues to change in both appearance and personality, and those changes impact her choices in the future.If Had Been With Me is a young adult novel that follows Autumn and Finny, childhood best friends whose lives take different directions as they enter high school. Though they grow apart, their bond remains quietly powerful, and the story explores the complexities of friendship, first love, and the haunting “what ifs” that come with choices made while growing up.

The highlight of the whole novel for me is the relationship or tension between Phineas “Finny” Smith and Autumn, because unlike most books that immediately info bomb, this book resists the urge to “info dump.” Instead, it allows the tension between the two characters to build organically, moment by moment. Their connection emerges through subtle gestures and quiet turning points that feel almost incidental until you realize how much weight they carry. This slow burn approach makes their eventual bond feel not only believable, but it rewards the reader with a relationship that resonates. 

The question the book asks the reader was a five star. A question that never goes away no matter how old you are, the brain is always thinking;”what if I did that differently. Where would I be?” The relationship between Phineas “Finny” Smith and Autumn embodies this perfectly. Every choice they make, every hesitation, every moment of closeness or distance carries the weight of possibility. In this way, the book becomes more than a story; it becomes a mirror.

Though the novel had many good things, it had one flaw: Finny’s crash. We are told that Finny is a “golden boy” and he normally follows rules to stay safe, so when he drives recklessly down a slippery road, it is uncharacteristic of him. His crash felt like it was more for the plot rather than a consequence of his personality. 

“If he had been with me” was my first ever modern romance book, and it was my last modern read, for me there is nothing that could compare to it, and if I could I would read it all over again, it would.