The Zombie

The telltale signs include glazed eyes and being completely unresponsive to anything happening around them. No, this is not just describing your average high school student. These types of sick people are who you see walking in the halls that look as dead on the outside as they feel on the inside. They are the people you see walking, and move out of their way as you think, “Holy moly, are they okay?” The Zombies are known for looking gloriously sick, bored, and dead all at the same time. You can be sitting next to them in class and while you bounce your leg and fidget with your pencil, they will be like stone next to you. They are the people who really just need to go home and sleep for five years. 

Sis Snapped

Imagine you walk into class and realize you don’t have a pencil. You very politely ask your seat neighbor if you can borrow one for the class and will give it back at the end of the period. Instead of a simple sure, you get scolded for five minutes on why you need to be more prepared for class. These are the aggressive sick people who you avoid at all costs. Or you say as little as possible so as not to make them angrier. Maybe they just need food, maybe they need a nap, or maybe they need world domination, but when you cross paths with the aggressive sick people, they certainly seem to have fire in their eyes. They are the people who drop one part of their Brenda’s cookie and will go on a tangent of why school should start later. No connection, but their angered tone, nasally voice, and sickly looking skin strikes fear into every bystander. The aggressive sick people are the ones to be reckoned with and are not to be tried until they eat a Snickers bar and feel more like themselves. 

I Swear I’m Not Sick

You know the people you always hear coughing, sneezing, and sniffing but can never really pick out in a crowd? These are the people who swear they are not sick even as they cough through the statement. Maybe they are the reason you need to wash your hands so much and maybe they are the reason you are starting to feel sick. These are the people you can tell are under the weather but refuse to go home and instead, risk giving others their disease. That slimy green speck you see on your desk? That is a little gift left by your favorite in denial sick student.  

Mom, I’m Dying

The famous last words from students who refuse to accept that they are sick are “I’m fine.” However, the over exaggerators are the feverish sun to the denials moon. The favorite phrase from this type of sick person is in fact not a phrase at all, just constant groans of pain and agony. These people could have the slightest runny nose or simply something caught in their throats but like to think that means they are dying. People say it is bad to google sick symptoms because it never leads anywhere good. Well, the over exaggerators don’t even need Google to help them to the conclusion that they might have severe problems. They are the people who will stay home for a week believing they are sick when in reality, the school was just cold enough to make them shiver once during English class. 

Crackheads 

Have you ever seen someone look so sick but have so much energy? The crackhead sick people are the ones who get more done in one day when they are sick than they will in a whole month when they are healthy. These are the people medicine bottles warn you about when the label states the drug could cause excitability. No, they haven’t had any coffee, they just refuse to let the sickness keep them down and instead go into overdrive. That five-page packet that was assigned for homework five minutes ago? They have already finished it. Sure, the sickness clouds their judgment and some of the work is not coherent, but hey, it’s done. You can feel the energy radiating off of these people, but all they really need to do is take a break and take a nap.