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A review of “The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology”

A personal opinion of the worst to best songs on the newest album by Taylor Swift.
media by Avalon Nielsen
This graphic depicts the album cover and headline to introduce the story.

As the newest album entitled “The Tortured Poets Department” by singer/songwriter Taylor Swift was released April 19, fans across the world turned an ear to listen and critique. 

Overall this album gave me a mix of emotions similar to those of previous albums she has released. The backing vocals as well as the music and beats in most of the songs reminded me of something similar to songs we’ve heard before on her album “Midnights”. However, the lyrics were very similar to “Folklore” in their content and poeticness. 

Personally, this is my favorite album released by Taylor Swift but there were definitely a wide variety of hits and misses throughout.

This is a list of my opinions of the songs from her album ranked from my least favorite to most favorite, including the song title and my favorite lyric(s).

  1. “So High School”

Favorite Lyric: “Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me/ It’s just a game, but really/ I’m bettin’ on all three for us two”

I know this opinion is very controversial because of this album. 

  1. “I Look In People’s Windows”

Favorite Lyric: “Does it feel alright to not know me?/ I’m addicted to the ‘if only’”

  1. “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)”

Favorite Lyric: “They shake their heads saying, ‘God, help her’/ When I tell them he’s my man/ But your good Lord doesn’t need to lift a finger”

  1. “Peter”

Favorite Lyric: “With your feet on the ground, tell me all that you’d learned/ ‘Cause love’s never lost when perspective is earned”

  1. The Alchemy”

Favorite Lyric: “Cause the sign on your heart/ Said it’s still reserved for me/ Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?”

  1. How Did It End?”

Favorite Lyric: “The deflation of our dreaming/ Leaving me bereft and reeling/ My beloved ghost and me/ Sitting in a tree/ D-Y-I-N-G”

  1. imgonnagetyouback”

Favorite Lyric: “Say you got somebody, I’ll say I got someone too/ Even if it’s handcuffed, I’m leavin’ here with you”

  1. Fresh Out The Slammer”

Favorite Lyric: “And no matter what I’ve done, it wouldn’t matter anyway/ Ain’t no way I’m gonna screw up now that I know what’s at stake”

  1. “I Hate It Here”

Favorite Lyric: “I’m lonely but I’m good/ I’m bitter but I swear I’m fine/ I’ll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I’ll get lost on purpose/ This place made me feel worthless”

  1. Cassandra”

Favorite Lyric: “They say, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you aware’/ What happens if it becomes who you are?”

  1. “The Manuscript”

Favorite Lyric: “He said, ‘I’m not a donor but/ I’d give you my heart if you needed it’”

  1. Guilty as Sin?”

Favorite Lyric: “If long suffering propriety/ Is what they want from me/ They don’t know how you’ve haunted me/ So stunningly”

  1. thanK you aIMee”

Favorite Lyric: “And so I changed your name and any real defining clues/ And one day, your kid comes home singing/ A song that only us two is gonna know is about you”

There’s a lot of speculation saying that because there are certain letters in the title of this song that are capitalized to spell out K-I-M, this song is a stab at Kim Kardashian and her character. Because of this, this has become one of the more popular songs on the album. Personally, I think this is one of the stronger songs on the album but it was slightly repetitive which is why I ranked it at 18.

  1. “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus”

Favorite Lyric: “Down that passage in time back to the moment/ I crashed into you, like so many wrecks do/ Too impaired by my youth to know what to do”

  1. “Loml”

Favorite Lyric: “I wish I could un-recall/ How we almost had it all/ Dancing phantoms on the terrace/ Are they second-hand embarrassed”

  1. Fortnight (feat. Post Malone)”

Favorite Lyric: “I love you, it’s ruining my life.”

“Fortnight was my favorite song on the album probably because Post Malone was featured on it. The best line in it was definitely, ‘I love you it’s ruining my life’,” Ariel Beirne ‘24 said.

  1. “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys”

Favorite Lyric: “Cause he took me out of my box/ Stole my tortured heart/ Left all these broken parts”

  1. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart”

Favorite Lyric: “Breaking down, I hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, ‘More’”

  1. Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine)”

Favorite Lyric: “Well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time/ Yes, I’m haunted but I’m feeling just fine”

  1. Robin”

Favorite Lyric: “You have no room in your dreams for regrets/ You have no idea/ The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean”

  1. “The Bolter”

Favorite Lyric: “Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless/ Excellent fun ’til you get to know her”

I really adore this song, when I first heard the title I was sure it was going to be about a boy and fully did not expect to get called out by it but that is what ended up happening. Although it is one of the better songs on this album in my opinion I decided to rank it here because there are definitely better ones.

  1. But Daddy I Love Him”

Favorite Lyric: I’m having his baby/ No, I’m not, but you should see your faces”

  1. The Tortured Poets Department”

Favorite Lyric: “You left your typewriter at my apartment/ Straight from the tortured poets department/ I think so things I never say/ Like, ‘who uses typewriters anyway?’”

    8.“The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”

Favorite Lyric: “You didn’t measure up, in any measure of a man”

  1. The Albatross”

Favorite Lyric: “Cross your thoughtless heart/ Only liquor anoints you/ She’s the albatross/ She is here to destroy you”

  1. Down Bad”

Favorite Lyric: “How dare you think it’s romantic/ Leaving me safe and stranded?”

  1. Clara Bow” 

Favorite Lyric: “Beauty is a beast that roars/ Down on all fours/ Demanding ‘more’”

  1. “The Black Dog”

Favorite Lyric: “‘Cause tail between your legs you’re leaving/ And I still can’t believe it/ ‘Cause old habits die screaming”

  1. The Prophecy”

Favorite Lyric: “A greater woman wouldn’t beg, but I looked to the sky and said/ Please, I’ve been on my knees, change the prophecy/ Don’t want money, just someone who wants my company”

  1. So Long, London”

Favorite Lyric: “And you say I abandoned the ship/ But I was going down with it/ My white knuckle dying grip/ Holding tight to your quiet resentment”

  1. “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me”

Favorite Lyric: “You caged me and then you called me crazy/ I am what I am ‘cause you trained me”

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