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the Rock Online

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the Rock Online

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The Secret of Life: Setting Healthy Boundaries

A guide to setting healthy emotional boundaries.
The Secret Of Life column logo, created with Canva.
media by Avalon Nielsen
The Secret Of Life column logo, created with Canva.

Hello and welcome back to The Secret of Life. 

Today, the topic will be setting healthy emotional boundaries with ourselves and others and the benefits that come from it.

The first question we must answer is: what exactly is a boundary?

According to The Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a boundary is “something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent.”

An example of a boundary could be telling someone that you need some space, or even telling yourself to take a break from certain things.

The second question is how exactly we’re supposed to set boundaries.

According to verywellhealth.com, a few things to consider when setting boundaries are starting with a goal that will be accomplished by setting the boundary, creating small, simple and clear boundaries and practicing setting those boundaries.

Boundaries are important and therefore it is also important to know what needs to be accomplished that warrants creating a boundary.

The last question we need to answer is the difference between unhealthy and healthy boundaries.

According to helpguide.org, “Unhealthy boundaries often tend to be either too rigid or too porous. Healthy ones fall somewhere between these two extremes.” 

So, to set healthy boundaries, we need to be aware of what all parties want. 

If it is with yourself, then you must figure out what the boundary being set is trying to accomplish based on a need. If it’s with others, then you must find out the feelings and needs of all parties and possibly come to a compromise.

It is important when addressing or creating boundaries to be respectful and listen to the other person’s needs as well.

“As long as you are calm and respectful when creating boundaries as well as laying out exactly what you need and want, it’s easier to define and harder to cross,” Noah Beirne ‘24 said.

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